this is the moment

studioI have had it on my mind for two weeks now, the sentiment of a writing shared with me by my sweetest of friends, Courtney. I love this one a little more than most, she wrote in the email, a comment that let me know right away I was the recipient of something special. We tend to be moved by the same sorts of things, Courtney and I, so I took a seat in a quiet spot, breathed in, and hit the open button on my laptop.

It was an offering from Hannah Brencher, a blogger with such an effortless writing style I find myself sinking into her paragraphs like they’re a soft, old easy chair. “I feel like I already missed Christmas,” it began, and I read along, thinking with every sentence: I know. I know. And then I got to this line:

I’m scared of missing the point. I’m scared of always rushing to get somewhere, onto the next somewhere, so that I never fully arrive anywhere.

Oh do I know.


I’ve had this same discussion with every girlfriend I have near my (unimaginable) age of 55. “Do you feel it, too? Do you feel the jitters inside, the anxiousness that tumbles and rolls and keeps you feeling behind? Like no matter what it is you’re doing, there’s always something else you should be doing? Somewhere else you need to be. And you’d damn well better Get To It.

It’s an emotion that might have been easier to understand in our 30s and 40s, when our lives were stretched beyond recognition in the tug-of-war between work responsibilities and those small, needy, insatiable children at home. On top of that was housekeeping, and laundry, and grocery shopping, and cooking, and well, you know the (on and on) drill. We still have many of those things to tend to in our 50s, of course, but it is more on our own terms. More in our own control, somehow.

Which makes this feeling of anxiousness rising all the more disconcerting.


Hannah talks about the rush to Christmas, and I know it is the perfect metaphor for the point she is making. We plan and shop and make and wrap and decorate and bake in a frenzy that crescendos toward an end goal—a perfect, magical, oh-look-at-that-the-snow-just-started-to-fall Christmas day. And we’re so focused on that “out there” payoff that we fail to take in the wonder and glory of the many sparkling magic moments God gives us all along the way.

She ends with a line that hollowed me out when I read it. We have all the time, she says, all the time we thought we never had. So let’s take that time and count the glittering objects around us, let’s hold hands and count them one by one.

Let’s just pretend that it can’t get better than this right here.

Oh, girl.

Let’s just pretend that it can’t get better than this right here.

Does that get to you the way it gets to me? I imagine sinking into my beautiful life with this moment-to-moment thought on my heart. Letting my soul be filled to overflowing. Not holding back a single second, never spending even a tiny blink thinking “I’m getting ready” for something way more grand than that which is all around me right now.

Because this moment, this moment now, sitting in a green chair on a Monday night, the world fading to dark outside, the fire popping and crackling in front of me as I write—how beautiful it is to look at this as a sparkling moment. How lovely to hear God’s voice telling me, as he told Hannah:

Breathe. Look. Take it in, my beloved. It’s all there now, in this moment. I’ve placed it there for you. There’s no place you need to rush. There’s no other place for you to be. This— this is all yours, it’s all for you. It is enough. Be there now, and simply breathe it in.





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heart of hearts


I am not good at meditation.

There, I’ve said it.

It’s something that bothers me, this “failing,” since I believe–in my heart of hearts–that the practice of meditation would be the single most significant positive change I could make in my life. I believe the connection and stillness of meditation are vital parts of a holy spiritual life. I believe the discipline and focus would calm my restless spirit. I believe meditation’s hurdle-free pathway to God would open my soul and fill it with so much goodness and light my cup would surely overflow.

What’s more, I know that my own label of “failure” when it comes to meditation is a ridiculous one. God loves me anyway; God meets me in a hundred thousand places every day, showering me with grace and not the slightest bit of judgement.

And still.


I am in a beautiful, intimate Sunday School class with five women at my church. This Fall we have been studying Malachi, a book theological scholar Lisa Harper summarizes as “a love that never lets go.” The women in my class are faithful and committed, bringing to our discussions insightful commentary on their own journeys as we meet week to week.

I have yet to do the homework even a single time, a fact that didn’t stop me from walking right on into class last Sunday, the unopened book in my bag and me with absolutely no idea what the week’s study had been all about. You know what happened? God met me right there in my totally unprepared state and delivered to me via these amazing women one of the most powerful messages of my spiritual life.

First, our fearless leader, Teresa, talked about worship as “moving toward God.” (Isn’t that a lovely and powerful concept?) Then she pointed out the Greek word Kardia, which appears in the bible 160 times and which, in simple translation, means “heart.” But get this. In the bible the word Kardia refers not just to a person’s emotional center, but to “the whole of the innermost part of the human,” including mental functioning, emotional responses, and will, or character.

Kardia is the seat of the soul, says Harper, and at its center is the holy of holies.

(Let’s just sit with that a minute.)

God, the holy of holies, is already there at the center of my being.


Here’s the thing. I am a woman with a big and busy life. I run at a crazy pace. And I’ve had this unconscious notion, all along, that God is up there watching over me as I move through the world trying to getting it all done.

God up there. God out there. 

And all the while, God’s been in here.


I shall now pray differently. Instead of talking to God up there, I shall talk to God in here. And I shall think of meditation differently, too. I’ll no longer approach it as time in which I must get still and try try try to quiet my mind. Instead, I will think of it as leaving the “out there” world to its own devices for a bit and turning my attention inward. I will move toward kardia, my heart of hearts, the seat of my soul, and there I believe I will meet God. I will sit quietly, waiting. Content. And in the silence I know He will nurture and restore me, and then we will head back out into the Big Chaos of this world, together.



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Surprises, big and small

It’s like a big pinch of joy spice added to regular life, wouldn’t you say?

I’m talking about surprise, the happy kind, the popping of a little jolt of wow! right into a regular old day. It makes your heart soar and sing and dance and reminds you how nice it is to be in this world, how good it is to have people in it who know you and love you and think of you and go to the trouble to show it even when it might take a rather large bit of effort.

It happened to me yesterday, and my heart is still dancing.

First, the doorbell rang. As this does not happen regularly at my house, my sweet dog, Little Bit, and I both ran straight for the front door to see what on earth might be going on. This is what we found.

a rather large surprise

a big surprise

Needless to say, it was a thrill to find my name in the “TO” space on the label of this gigantic box. I brought it into our foyer.

It's so big!

To: Cathy Monetti

With great curiosity and even greater gusto, I began to open it.

so much bubble wrap!

bubble wrap galore

I unwrapped, and unwrapped, and unwrapped, and finally, there it was.


Oh. Wow. Oh, wow!


A most amazing surprise from my dear friend, Sharon, one of the Wise Women who lives a million miles away in Louisiana. (You’ve met her here before, aka Speckled Pup.) I called her, pronto.

The moment I saw it, I knew it was for you she said.

And with that, my dear ones, another layer of happy slathered itself right over my giddy heart. I skipped through the rest of the day, and the night, and even now—another day later—the joy of that surprise has me feeling as light and hopeful as, well…as a feather.



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Stepping Up

Winter is waiting in the wings, and still these zinnias hang on.


They are prolific bloomers, their seeds spread hither and yon. It’s always a delightful surprise to see where they show up.


I love their determination, their spirit.


They never hold back.


Instead, they stretch their necks to the Autumn sun, joy-filled and glorious,

yellowthankful to be here on this Earth, and ready to step boldly into another new day.

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three little things

Three sweet little things I want to tell you about. 

It’s something that doesn’t happen often when you live in South Carolina, but sometime in the dark early hours Sunday morning, I woke up cold. We haven’t yet turned on the heat, and temperatures outside—unbeknownst to me—had dropped into the 40s. Chilled, I curled into a tighter ball and tried to fall back to sleep.  ~  Not long after, my husband-the-early-riser got up for the day. In the dark and cold, he pulled the down comforter from the basket beside our dresser and, thinking I was still asleep, quietly lofted it over me and tiptoed from the bedroom. What a thoughtful thing to do I thought, snuggling beneath the blankets. What a sweet bit of love.

The sermon was so good I was taking notes. Seriously—writing things down in the margins of my church bulletin. And that’s about the time the tickle started in my throat that signaled a serious cough on the rise. I tried to suppress it, to hold it back, but this dang cough insisted on itself and I knew I had to get out or I was going to ruin the sermon for every person in our congregation. I made a run for it and hid out in a Sunday School corner until I could calm my loud, scratchy cough. Recovered, I tiptoed back to the door that leads to the choir loft. Just as I reached for the knob the cough started up again, this time with an even greater vengeance. ~  Eventually, I slipped back into my seat. There waiting for me on the cushion (as if manna from heaven) someone had placed an unassuming little cough drop. What a simple little thing, I thought again, gratefully unwrapping it. And how very thoughtful.

You know what it’s like to go on a wonderfully fun trip, then have to face that first day back in the office? There’s great terror about what you’ll find on your desk, what “issues” have collected that are sitting there, as if in wait. ~  It’s just what I faced last week when I came home from the remarkable Oprah weekend in Washington, DC. Backpack over my shoulder, water bottle in my hand, I bravely opened the door to my office and took a courageous look. Here’s what I found.

three feathers

I smiled, knowing the pretty feather napkins had been left for me by my friend and co-worker, Katy. What a happy little surprise, I thought. How very thoughtful.


There are people in this world who are good at thoughtful. Don’t you agree? They smooth life’s rough edges with tiny little gestures—unassuming offerings that soften the way. Their thoughtful doesn’t scream, or demand acknowledgement, or seek the spotlight. Instead it slips into life quietly, passing under the radar, content to be a gentle little voice heard deep in the heart.

I know you. I care. I want to help, says thoughtful. And I don’t need a single thing in return.



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